Alas, Its Over

I am so sorry

to say that

tomorrow will be my last day on this road trip. My uncle John, who was married to my favorite aunt, Millie, and the father of my cousin Amy, died suddenly last night of a heart attack. He was one of the nicest people I have ever known and I am so sorry that he is gone. I need to go home and be with my aunt and cousin.

I am driving to Chicago with Guy tomorrow morning and I am flying back to Philly from there. Because we don't think its a good idea for Guy to drive the rest of the way home alone with the two dogs, Salvi is flying to Chicago and going the rest of the way with him. Guy will exchange the wife, for the daughter and Sal will get to have a mini road trip with her dad.

Today was another really nice day. Lots and lots of corn, for as far as the eye can see, its nothing but corn. It actually looks really pretty as it sways in the breeze and its kind of cool to imagine that this is where all of that popcorn that I love to eat at the movies, comes from. I wonder if people from Iowa eat corn or they are so sick of looking at it, planting it and then harvesting it, that they eat broccoli instead.

As we were leaving Sioux City, Guy asked me to look up his old college room mate online. Guy had nicknamed him "Nebraska" (duh!) when they were in school and since we were planning on driving right through Omaha, he thought that he'd look him up. They hadn't seen or spoken to each other in over 30 years, and the last Guy knew, Bill (his actual name) was a physician practicing in Omaha and he thought it would be fun to see him again. Now, this is something that I would never do, look someone up who I hadn't seen in all of that time, but that's why I love him, because he does things so differently than I do sometimes ( and also the reason that I hate him sometimes), but, I have to admit, once again, that he was totally right. He called Bill's office and although he was not in, Bill's office was kind enough to relay the message to him that a "Guy Muzio" had called and Bill called him back immediately , and they had a fun reunion for about half an hour. It was fun for Guy and I think, for "Nebraska" as well. They promised to keep in touch and I think they will. That's a picture of them of the two of them up there.

We drove through a town called "Brooklyn" which I thought was kind of funny, especially since we were listening to a book called "Brooklyn" as we drove by. We also saw a sign for the exit to see the "birth place of John Wayne" and the real "bridges of Madison County". Who knew all of these wonderful things were in Iowa? And here I'm thinking its only about corn!

After driving 85 miles an hour for 6 days, Guy finally got stopped by the highway patrol, in this case, the Iowa highway patrol. Like everyone else in the middle of the country, they were so nice (I have to admit, this whole "nice" thing is kind of getting on my nerves) and after Guy explained that we were driving across the country on our way to NYC, the officer didn't even give him a ticket, only a warning. I wanted to take a picture of him for the blog, but Guy didn't think that was a good idea.

We eventually got to Davenport, Iowa, where we are staying tonight and thankfully, once again, the hotel is just fine. We thought that since Davenport is on the Mississippi River,( the very same river that Tom and Huck sailed down), we would go to one of the casino riverboats that they have here, for a last night drink. We went to the one that was recommended by the front desk and it was kind of awful. (the lesson there is that you don't ever ask someone who works at the front desk of a Best Western for dining or entertainment choices) We ended up at the bar of the hotel drinking scotch (me) and martinis (Guy) and eating potato chips (kitchen was closed). It was kind of pathetic and funny at the same time.

This drive across the country has been so much fun; more fun than I thought it would be in fact. Although it would have been a lot more comfortable if all of those Best Westerns and Comfort Inns and whatever the hell else they're called, could have been Four Seasons; but then I wouldn't have had the golden opportunity of walking into someone else's room with my two dogs and then being able to tell you all about it. (OMG, what if they had been naked, or God forbid, having sex?)

I was talking to a friend of mine today and he asked me if we were having fun and I said that yes, we were having a lot of fun. He laughed and said, of course you are and its because you love each other, you could never do a trip like that unless you loved each other. He is right, of course and I already knew that, but after almost 28 years, its kind of nice to know that we can be together in a small car with 2 dogs for 7 days and be sad because its over.

Easy Going

Today was our longest drive so far, about 500 miles! Actually, its not as bad as it sounds or maybe I was just really happy to get out of that place we stayed in last night. To be fair, Guy did almost all of the driving with the exception of about 100 miles when I was at the wheel. We've been listening to Obama's book, Letters From My Father, and that made the going easier. I never thought that I would like listening to books on tape, but on a long drive like this, its kind of a great thing.

The scenery didn't have the bang that it has had in the last couple of days, but it was still extremely pleasant. The weather was perfect, blue skies and temperatures in the high 70's, perfect driving weather. Makes me wish we had a convertible. The dogs have either finally adjusted to being in the car for long stretches or they are just in shock; whichever it is, I thank God that Sonny has finally stopped panting and Luigi didn't puke once today.

As soon as we got on the highway, we started seeing signs for "Wall Drug". I had read about this place in my roadtrip book and had spoken to some people who knew about it (thanks Matt), so I was looking forward to seeing it. It didn't disappoint. It started out in the 30's as a real drug store and it wasn't doing so well during the Depression. The couple who owned it had the bright idea of putting signs on the road advertising "free" ice water. At the time, anywhere you stopped on the road gave you free ice water, unlike today when we, shmucks that we are, gladly handover $2 or more for a bottle of water. But I digress; so they put these signs up and voila, all of a sudden, people began stopping at the store. This brilliant idea happened to coincide with the completion of Mt. Rushmore, so more and more people showed up. It kept growing and growing until it became what it is today, a giant tourist trap, where they still give you free ice water and a 5 cent cup of coffee, but where it is impossible to get out of without spending at least $50. They sell everything. My purchases tell the story; we bought tee shirts, post cards, little wooden boxes with "Wall Drug SD" printed on them (don't ask), a Christmas tree ornament, a mini replica of Mt. Rushmore, and are you ready? Rosary beads, again, don't ask. It spans the entire block and they recently built what they call the "backyard", which kind of looks like a little area for kids to run around in. Did I say that there is also a bar and a cafe? We had a wonderful breakfast and also bought some homemade donuts for noshing in the car. No whiskey though, it was only 10am.

From there, it was a nice ride and although we stopped for gas and to let the dogs out a couple of times, it was pretty uneventful. We did stop in Mitchell, SD which is the home of the "Corn Palace", another place I read about in the roadtrip book. This is sort of a sports arena, think Spectrum, (Philly people will understand this, everyone else, sorry) with the only difference being, it is completely covered in CORN. Really, they make these murals for the front of the building totally out of corn. Every year there is a different theme. It seems that the optimal time of the year to visit is during the harvest at the end of August. That's because that's when the corn is picked (you know, "harvested") and when they complete the murals with all of the corn they just picked. Get it? Anyway, another place to buy dumb shit and buy we did. For some reason, Guy was a little possessed by this place and actually wanted to buy things. Weird! I have to figure out why that happened so I can transfer whatever it was that made him want to shop, to his shopping at, umm, lets say, Bulgari.

Tonight we are staying in Sioux City, Iowa, which is right across the Missouri River from Sioux City, Nebraska, where we had dinner at the Crystal Cafe, a place I read about in, you guessed it, the roadtrip book. It is a truck stop with great food. Ok, Philly people, think Melrose Diner, except it has really great food and is filled with people from Nebraska and Iowa (really, really nice, but no style; unlike the people in the Melrose who have great style but aren't really, really nice).

The hotel, I know, you were wondering when I was going to get to that, is very nice. No drama at all to report. Its clean and has real wooden headboards. One interesting thing happened tonight. I took the dogs out for walk and I saw lightning bugs. Wow, I haven't seen lightning bugs since I was a little kid. It made me think of my grandmother's farm. A very nice way to end a very nice day.

George, Tom, Ted , Abe and the others

Since we didn't have time yesterday to go to the Buffalo Bill Historical Center, we stopped there this morning before heading out of town. It was worth the time. He was a pretty interesting guy and the museum has lots of artifacts from his life as well as tons of pictures and facts about the "Wild West" show that he was so famous for. It was definitely very cool.

We left Cody and began driving, heading towards South Dakota. Again, we were on secondary roads and again, it was awe inspiring scenery. We drove through Bighorn National Forest; very winding roads that wrapped around the Bighorn Mountain range. It was tense driving (and tense passenger-ing), but in the end, another totally worthwhile experience. We drove through the town of Sundance, Wyoming (where the Kid got his name) and stopped for lunch in the town of Buffalo.

We finally crossed the state line into South Dakota and we were excited to be close to seeing Mount Rushmore. Although we had hotel reservations for the night in the town of Rapid City, we decided to switch to the town of Keystone, which is much closer to where the monument is. We had driven over 425 miles and were anxious to get out of the car for the day and not have to drive again. Now, I don't know what the hell fantasy land I was living in, but I thought that Mount Rushmore was in the middle of some beautiful wilderness and you could drive up to it and bingo, there it would be. Wrong, wrong, wrong!! It is part of the most honky tonk resort area ever, that makes the Wildwood boardwalk look like the Champs Elysee. Possibly the most white trashy place I have ever seen. The monument itself is quite extraordinary and worth seeing. However, how or, more interestingly, why, anyone would think of undertaking such a project, is completely beyond me. I think the guy was on some serious drugs. He was probably pretty stoned when the thought occurred to him," hey, wouldn't it be cool to carve 4 presidents heads into the side of a mountain?" I mean, for real!

Ok, onto to the motel. We are back to the Bates Motel, except this one is even worse than the first night. We get here, we're tired and grumpy, Luigi has puked in the back of the car and we're all freaking out a little. We check in and they tell us that we have gotten the last room that is "pet friendly", ok, that's good. We go to the 2nd floor, which is ungodly hot and humid because the pool is right below us and the smell of chlorine is kind of overpowering, but I'm still hopeful. I have the key and the dogs and I open the door to room 206, and there is a large Mexican family with their little dog already staying in the room!!! They are all sleeping and their little dog becomes hysterical when it sees Sonny and Luigi and the boys, of course, attack it. Meanwhile, I am standing there, not really knowing what to do, thinking that this is some sort of a joke and Guy is right behind me with the bags and then, the family wakes up. They look at me and aren't nearly as freaked as I am, they just sort of look confused. I say OMG, sorry sorry and I run out of the room dragging the dogs with me and tell Guy, who hasn't walked in yet, about the people in the room. I am absolutely serious, I really opened the door to a room that was already occupied, by a lot of people and a dog. Poor Guy has finally had it by this point and he throws the bags down and goes back to the front desk. The dogs and I wait by the bags, which are next to the door of the room I just walked into. They give us another room, "pet friendly" be damned and barely apologize for their ridiculous mistake. I'm pretty sure they didn't apologize to the people I walked in on either. Seriously, can you imagine? After I stopped being insane about it, we peed ourselves laughing.

This place is pretty bad and I doubt there will be any sleeping for me tonight, although I never discount the power of my little magic pink pills. As I am writing this, I am sitting in the bathroom, in my pajamas and with my shoes on, and Guy is sound asleep in the other room. I don't know how the hell he does it. He is used to the same wonderful, clean and nice smelling living conditions as I am, yet, he can put his head down on any gross pillow and actually cover himself with the gross sheets and be snoring in 2 minutes. It drives me nuts.

In the words of my favorite bitch, "tomorrow is another day."

Yipee Ki Yay!

Left Evanston and started our drive on I-80, destination, Cody, Wyoming. We decided to go to Cody instead of going to Casper, because I read that Cody is the home of the rodeo.(and, Casper is the home of Dick Cheney) My father loved cowboys and the wild, wild west and just abut anything to do with that time period so, when I was a kid, we watched a lot of Bonanza and Gunsmoke and Wyatt Earp, so I grew up enamored of cowboys as well. Hence, the decision to detour for the rodeo.

We had an interesting drive. We got off I-80 after about 100 miles and drove the rest of the way, about 300 miles, on secondary roads. At times, it was kind of a pain because they are all 2 lanes and passing can be death defying at times, especially with Guy at the wheel, but it turned out to be a great experience.

At one point it was actually a dirt road for a couple of miles and Guy was getting a little tense thinking that it was going to be like that for awhile, but it eventually became real road again and we were on our way to the most incredible scenery ever. We drove through the Wind River Indian Reservation. It was spectacular and I wish I could describe its beauty. It's one of those places that always make me believe in God. I tried to take some pictures, but they don't even begin to depict its majesty. We also drove through some towns, which I love to do. One of the towns was called Atlantic City!! I try to imagine what it would have been like to have grown up in places like that. The streets, for the most part, were pretty empty and most of the businesses looked closed. The shitty economy has shown no discrimination.

We stopped for lunch at a place called the "Hitching Post" in Lander, Wyoming. I always get a little uptight going into really local places and its one of the things that Guy absolutely loves to do. This time, he was totally right and it was the best hamburger I have ever eaten. Cooked to perfection, juicy, just the right thickness, Guy had french fries (of course) and I tried the potato salad. The fries were amazing and the potato salad was as good as any homemade I've ever had.

We had driven through rain most of the day and then about 20 miles outside of Cody, the sun broke through and when we arrived at 5pm, it was sunny and warm. We checked into the Best Western and again, not so bad. So far we haven't had a repeat of the first night. We went into town and yes, we did it, we bought cowboy boots! There's just no way you come to a place like this and get away with not doing that. After all, this town was founded and named for Buffalo Bill and the rodeo began as his "Wild West" show. It would have been un American not to buy a pair (that's what I told Guy anyway). Then off to the rodeo.

As we were getting in the car to drive the 2 miles to the rodeo, a huge storm blew up and it started to pour. Being the hard core cowboys (I always wanted to be a cowboy, not a cowgirl) that we are, we went anyway and we froze our asses off. It was totally fun. It is the only sporting event I've ever gone to where they not only sing the national anthem, first they play this tape of John Wayne talking about the greatness of our country and then they actually said a prayer to Jesus. It kind of freaked me out a little. Anyway, the rodeo was a blast although we only lasted an hour(its 2 hours long) because we were so cold. We stopped off at a barbecue place on our way back to the motel and had some barbecued chicken and ribs. Kind of the perfect ending to a real cowboy kind of day. My father would have loved it.

1 Day, 2 Time Zones, 3 States, 425 Miles

We

reluctantly left the lovely town of Winnemucca this morning after our delightful stay at the Bates Motel and an incomparable, complimentary, continental breakfast of really weak coffee, always one of my favorites and a yummy cellophane wrapped danish.

As we were driving along, Guy saw a sign that said Fireworks for Sale, he almost killed us as he made a hard turn to get off at that exit. "What the hell are you doing?", I screamed. He said, "we have to get some fireworks". There is actually no rational reason in the world that we should buy fireworks, but I think that Guy thinks that its what you're supposed to do when you go on a road trip, buy fireworks wherever you can because they are illegal in the saner parts of the country. I really hope they don't explode in the car and kill me and the pups.

Onto to the town of Elko where we all, me, Guy, Sonny and Luigi, had a quick pee and then had a look at the barbed wire collection in the visitors' center, fascinating!

Next stop, Wendover, where we stopped at the Nugget Casino and had lunch while the dogs patiently waited in the car. By the way, Sonny was much better today and only panted for half the ride. This casino makes any casino in Atlantic City look like its in Monte Carlo and while we were having our salads, Guy learned how to play KENO. A waitress came over and since we were the only ones in the place, we got lots of attention, and asked Guy if he would like to play during lunch. Guy, being Guy, engaged her in a lengthy conversation about the game and then chose his numbers (Keno is sort of like Bingo, but dumber) and placed his $2.00 bet. He lost it all.

After lunch we got back on I-80, which is quickly becoming my favorite highway, and started driving toward Salt Lake City. On the way, we passed through one of the most interesting and beautiful, in a weird way, sights I have ever seen from a car window. It was the Bonneville Salt Flats. For as far as you can see, the landscape is so flat and white, it almost looks like it is water, but it is, instead, a salt covered plain. It goes on for miles and miles. I was driving at that point because Guy had to make a phone call and he really is being good about not using the phone while driving. I didn't have any music on, so as not to disturb him and almost instantly I began to get mesmerized by all of that flat whiteness. It was beautiful in a very eerie way.

We made a last minute decision to stop and take a quick tour around SLC. Wow, it is a most amazing place and I felt very Big Love-ish. I kept looking for Barb and I loved the Angel Moroni on the top of the Temple. (I told my friend Alexis who is also driving back to NY from the Bay Area that we had stopped and looked at the Angel Moroni and she said that name sounds like a girl from south Philly. It does, doesn't it?)

Then we started our drive through/over the Wasatch Mountain range, heading toward Wyoming. It is so majestic and kind of awe inspiring. It reminded me of the scenery in all of the cowboy movies I have ever seen, probably because so many of them were filmed right around there.

We arrived at Evanston, Wyoming, our last stop for the day. I am not ashamed to admit I was really apprehensive about what the motel was going to be like after last night's fiasco. Thank God, I was very pleasantly surprised. It is definitely not a Bates repro, but is a wonderful, clean Comfort Inn. (Hey Brandt, it is a real wood headboard) Obviously, I can't be that spoiled if I can refer to a Comfort Inn as wonderful. Please don't misinterpret , the term is relative you understand and I am still using the sleep sack. The woman at the front desk is definitely not a prostitute, however, the view from our window is the "Romantix" sign which is advertising a shop right next door to the motel, that sells "intimate" lingerie, and erotic books and dvds. A friggin' dirty book store, how funny is that?

No fancy dinner tonight, we just went across the road to the local steak place. I'm not feeling great, just really tired and a bit of a sore throat, so we thought we'd take it easy. I have to be on point for tomorrow's adventure, Cody, Wyoming and the rodeo!

One post script about yesterday. At one point during our drive, we saw a sign that said "correctional institution" and saw a prison in the distance. We looked for the name of it, but didn't see one, so I thought maybe it was a secret government Guantanamo kind of place. I googled it this morning and found out that it is just a regular state prison, but it has a very famous inmate, O.J. Simpson!!! And to think, I could have gone and visited the gentleman. Another lost opportunity.

375 Miles to Winnemucca, Nevada

Ok, so it was our first day on the road; really, not so bad. No fighting, Guy didn't talk on the phone once, only checked his email a couple of times when the traffic was slow and we stopped for lunch at INnOut, so not bad at all. Except for Sonny in the back seat panting for the entire 375 miles, I thought I was going to lose my mind, it was like Chinese water torture. Except for realizing at some point on the drive that I had forgotten the "pot" cookies that Margie gave me, in the freezer in the house in San Francisco. Not a big deal, right? Do I need to get high on this trip? Of course not, except that I told my housekeeper to go to the house first thing in the morning and clean out the refrigerator and freezer and take anything she wanted and get rid of the rest. I had a panic attack thinking that she was going to take the bag of cookies, (which Margie said were extremely potent and warned me to only eat a tiny bit of one or I would be so stoned it would be scary) and eat them herself or worse, give them to her kids!! I freaked out in the car. I finally got Chloe, my sweet neighbor to go in and retrieve the evil cookies from the freezer immediately, so there was no chance of anyone else getting them. She did and I'm sure she's feeling fine right about now.

To continue; except that when we pulled up in front of the motel, I got a little nervous and when we walked into our room, I started to cry. It is the Bates Motel!!! So gross and smelly, I wouldn't even let the dogs sit on the beds before I took the covers off. Yes, I know, I am a spoiled brat, but seriously, this place is terrible. Thank God for my sleep sack! I wasn't exactly expecting the Four Seasons, but this is ridiculous. The woman who runs it is very nice however although I am sure she is a prostitute. Just a minor point in a town that is home to the Pussycat Ranch (truckers welcome).

But here are the best parts of the day: We just had an amazing dinner in a wonderful Basque restaurant called the Martin Hotel that I had read about in my roadtrip book. The food was wonderful and it is all family style, which means you sit with people you don't know, kind of like the Melrose Diner in South Philly except here we sat next to an honest to God cowboy. He was probably our age and he was well dressed with a huge cowboy hat on and was with his son. Of course, Guy immediately starts talking to him and finds out that he works for the Department of Agriculture and his job is to find cattle rustlers and arrest them. I kid you not, that is really his job. Who knew there were still "cattle rustlers" let alone people who's only job it is, is to find them. I think the deeper we go into the heartland, the stranger it will be.

Here is another nice part of the day. Before we left this morning, Susie came over to say good by and brought Guy his very own sleep sack and Paul also came over to say goodbye and hung out with us on the sidewalk as they packed up the moving truck.

We were very sad and shed some tears as we pulled away from 2030, but were having fun by the time we were on the highway.

Can't wait to see what's in store tomorrow.

The pictures are of us just before we got in the car, my sleep sack on the bed in the "Bates Motel", Paul and Guy and the dogs hanging on the sidewalk watching the movers and an empty room in the house.

Goodbye 2030!

So, its almost time. The movers will be here at any minute and this will be our last night in the house, which is, technically, no longer ours. I am having some real mixed emotions about it.

2030 Lyon Street has been home for almost 14 years, the longest that we've ever lived in one place. It is a wonderful house and has been a wonderful home. We've had so many good times here. At the beginning of our lives in San Francisco, I couldn't bear the thought of holiday dinners with just the four of us, it always seemed too sad and forlorn, so we began to invite friends and our dinners turned into feasts for, sometimes, up to 20 people or more. We had the most wonderful parties in this house and drank some of the best wine in the world here, a lot of the best wine in the world, in fact, as many of you know.

When Alfia and Salvi were in school, our house was the one where all of the kids would hang out. I remember one day when we had over 30 kids for lunch. I would have to shop at Costco twice a week just to keep up with their voracious appetites. I loved every minute of it.

Once both girls were gone and they stopped coming back here for vacations, 2030 began to lose its luster for me. I opened Divine Girls to try and fill the void, and it worked for a little while, but the truth was, and there was no denying it, I missed my girls. They are truly my "divine girls" and life with them 3000 miles away, just wasn't any fun. We still had the parties and the dinners, but it wasn't the same anymore. It was time to go home.

And, so home we are going tomorrow, with a few stops along the way.

2030 Lyon Street will always have a special place in my heart as will all of the friends I've made here. No, I won't "leave my heart in San Francisco" because my heart will always be with Al and Sal, but I will leave with a heart and a mind filled with memories of a wonderful 14 years in my adopted home.